Good question, no known way to get a scientific answer at this point. Maybe
after the genome map is done they will find a poly gene ;-) (Maybe there is a
helix with more than two strands?????)
I know it is easy to love many people, just look at a good family that loves each other. Look at how easy it is to love your kids, no matter how many you wind up with. Also look at how easy it is to want them to go away during certain years of their development. Is there any lesson for poly folk here about hanging in there?
Look at how easy it is to feel sexual attraction to someone, whether you know them or not. That special energy you feel while watching them, or talking to them. You don't have to do anything about it, or maybe you have to work at not doing anything, like I did when I was in a mono marriage. I found it hard not to flirt sometimes, and I ached for better hugs from my friends, both men and women. But there seemed to be a time limit to hugs (not much more than a second or two), and if I exceeded their limits, I got a cold brush off or a funny look.
When I left that marriage, and the xian church (not welcome as a divorced person) I stumbled into a swing party, met my second wife there, and found I had no problem being sexual with many, and found that I really liked (loved? lusted for?) several of my partners. When AIDS appeared, life calmed down, but I still was aware of my desire and ability to love many, rather than one. Does this mean I was born this way? How the dickens would I find out?
I have been very fortunate to find a primary partner who has arrived at the same conclusion that I have, that it is normal "for us" to love more than one, and to include sexuality in some of those love relationships. I also know that many people I have met find that difficult, if not impossible. Certainly this culture makes it difficult. We are in discussion now about "coming out" in our UU church, ie how to list ourselves in the World ad. I'd love to offer a poly support/discussion group to our community. I doubt this conservative area has ever had that opportunity before. But we have some fears around job related relationships. Respect is important, and we could lose it and therefore lose the ability to effect change when needed. Tough decision. They now respect us for who we are NOT!!!
Whether we like it or not, we'll get named as something different, something to be afraid of, like Prop 22 fear based ads proclaim. My goodness, next they'll want us to recognize marriages with more than 2 people in them, what ever is this world coming to?!!!
Of course, they are right ;-) We'd love to be recognized as loving committed people, however we set up our living situation.
I may, or may not, be born poly, but I'll die one.