Strong Lead
I wrote this poem when I was driving through SF and saw two men
in full "urban cowboy" gear. They were holding hands as they
walked across the street. My response was a warm, "Good for you!
You've found love." Then it struck me that they would be beat up
in the country bars where I dance. That got the muse going…
I was going to explore various forms of "forbidden love" in
different cultures to demonstrate how our own taboos may not be
quite so absolute. Instead, I'm so outraged and scared by a
situation in Tennessee, that I need to write from my heart
rather than my head.
April Divilbiss is a pagan who appeared on MTV with her legal
husband and an additional man who was a member of their MFM
triad. The paternal grandparents saw the show and immediately
filed suit for custody of April's daughter based on the
"immorality" of their family.
According to April's attorney, the court-appointed team of
social workers and child psychologists found: "There was no
evidence in the evaluation to suggest that **the child** has
been negatively influenced or affected by her mother's lifestyle
or parenting." Despite the lack of evidence of harm to the
child, the state has decided that April can not retain custody
of her daughter as long as the third member of her triad was
cohabiting with her and her husband. She is being forced to
choose between enriching her life and her home with the most
loving environment she can create and the state's requirements
for what they deem to be the best way to raise her daughter.
What kind of "choice" is this for a free country to give it's
citizens?!
We can never claim to be free in America until we're free to be
different. The judge's decision is based solely on his opinion
of what is "morally acceptable", not "evidence" (which would
also be admittedly biased but less arbitrarily so). What is
next? Shall only blond-haired, blue-eyed "proper Aryans" be
allowed to raise children without special State supervision?
Perhaps, it'll be OK if you're a proper WASP. Otherwise, you may
be presumed to be of "inferior moral fiber".
Despite my outrage, I want to dedicate this poem to Steve, a man
who suffered an even worse fate. Steve had the most incredible
gift I've ever encountered for leading people in worship.
Through his music (both direction of the group and original
compositions), he could lead thousand into remarkable
experiences of the presence of God. There is a difference
between a great musical performance and leading people in
worship. The first is based on talent and a passion for the
music. The later is based on passion for the deity.
Like King David of the Bible, Steve was one of those rare
individuals who could combine great music with great passion for
God.
Unfortunately, Steve was gay and a Catholic. The Church provides
two alternatives for gay men: celibacy and marriage without
homosexual contact. Steve tried the marriage route, hoping that
he'd "overcome" his homosexual affliction. I don't know the
details of his downward spiral, but he wound up divorced,
ostracized by the community he lead in worship, discredited as a
youth counselor, and eventually died of AIDS.
What a tragedy to be cast out of his church, rejected by his
community, cut off from his family, and doomed to be eternally
separated from the God he loved so much (at least in the eyes of
his community and traditional beliefs). He suffered all this
because he had no sanctioned outlet for his homosexual
tendencies. If love of God and service to others are no
protection from hellfire and damnation, what good is The Law?
Please people; let's try to make room in our "moral absolutes"
for people who do not fit our rules or path. So long as they are
not harming others, let's bless them for the love they find
rather than judge them for its form.
