I have always enjoyed flirting as far back as I can remember. It has been a way I have shown others that I am interested in them romantically and sexually. I view flirting as the fun and life affirming skilled art of flattery. This is not to say that I have limited myself to flirting with only those that I am romantically and sexually interested in. Not by a long shot. Because I also view flirting as a sport and a way to stay in shape verbally, socially and mentally. Some people play chess or do crossword puzzles. I flirt! This is one of the ways I keep my social skills sharp as an extrovert. One of the questions I asked myself when I started considering my use of flirting as a mental exercise was - must everyone I flirt with be a potential date? My answer to this question was - No... For example I am not interested in dating monogamous women. Even though I have absolutely no interest in dating them I still, on occasion, flirt with them. I wonder once in a while how they would potentially react to me if they knew I was Poly and had no interest in them romantically or sexually. Acceptance? Rejection? Is it worth my energy?
The potential possessiveness of monogamy is one of the reasons I have no interest in monogamous women. Monogamy has this built in control of coupling off with another person and forsaking all others. This is an unacceptable nightmare to any Polyamorist. We Polyamorists have this fear of being entrapped in a monogamous relationship. I am not "all that" but monogamous women continually approach me, flirt with me, and try to get connected in a dating relationship kind of way. But I am not interested in their advances because I understand what is on the other side of that "committed relationship" situation that these women hint at. To me as a Polyamorist man monogamy is toxic to my life. I have been there done that and have shirt, hat and shoes... I was married to a monogamous woman for 16 years. I did not like it then and I don't like it now.
I learned a lesson when I attended a wedding of a friend named Christine. There was a woman who kept gazing at me all night long. I kept talking with my partner-wife all night about how this woman was interested in me due to her flirtatious glances. Later that night at the reception Christine approached me leaving the dance floor and stated that someone wanted to see me outside. (I am out as a Polyamorist to Christine.) Anyway I went outside and sure enough she had got up the courage to get Chris to call me outside. The first thing that I observed on this beautiful crisp September night was that this woman that my partner-wife and I had been talking about all night was lighting up a cigarette! Yuck!!! An ashtray licker!!! I was totally repulsed!!! But oh well ... Go with the flow here, just don't get that close to her... The first words that came out of my mouth was "well you finally got up the courage to talk to me!" The second thing that came out of my mouth was cont...>