Self Improvement Program

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, that's your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you have worked on your own corner."

- Thomas Huxley

Many in the Polyamory Society believe that everyone that said that they are a Polyamorist is suited or responsible enough to be in a PolyRelationship. The same goes for individuals involved in committed monogamous relationships. The bottom line is that the potential member of a relationship must initially do some soul searching to assess if he or she is a suitable candidate for whatever relationship they want to pursue.

One of the biggest parts of being a partner in any relationship be it Polyamorous or monogamous is knowing yourself and improving on the knowledge of yourself in such a way that your are in harmony, co-exsistance and integration with your partners.

The Polyamory Society is committed to help individuals who declare themselves as Polyamorist to discover if their personality is compatible with the Polyamory lovestyle ideals through the Societies Adult Educational Branch's Self Improvement Program. Furthermore, the Self Improvement Programs is dedicated to helping Polyamorists strengthen their individual social skills and self knowledge.

Self Improvement Index

(Notice: Some of the links are not Active - Sorry please check back later)

PolyFamily Counseling Resources and Services from the Human Potential Center

Excellent Perspective of People to Be Wary Of In The Poly Community. MUST READ!!!

What To Do When You Don't Like A Partner's Partner?

My heart is Poly. My Wife (and Life) Aren't.

Understanding Opposition to Polyamory

Making Room for a Third

Poly Emotional Stress

Self-Esteem Affirmations

Conflict Resolution

Answers For Common Self-Defeating Messages

Poly Relationship Rights & Responsibilities

Tools for Healthy Polyamorous Relationships

Confronting Problems in Polyamorous Relationships - Lessons Learned

Relationship Evolution by Heather Anne Nicoll, The Darkhawk

Polyamory and Oneness by Linda White Dove, M. Ed.

How to Compromise With Others
How to Compromise in a Relationship
How to Make a Compromise

Visualization Exercise Coping

Visualization Exercise What Do You Want?

Measure Your Implicit Attitudes on Sexuality, Age, Gender, Weight Religion, Race and much, much more.

Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory

The Keirsey Temperament Sorter

Peter McWilliam's Home Page

Anthony Robbin's Home Page

Dos and Don'ts for Polyamorous Relationships



Poly Communication Can Be Tougher Than You Think!
Poly Communication Survival Kit

Trust & Building Trusting Relationships

Emotional Maturity
Emotional Maturity Questionaire

Compersion Index

Managing Jealousy In Open Relationships

The Process of Group Relationships

Self Actualization
Description & Self Survey

Poly - Friendly Professionals

Kink Aware Professionals Referral Services

What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory

Not Poly But Extremely Insightful On Life's Greater Path & Purpose


Self goes beyond being synonymous with you to a whole new level of consciousness. This level is reached only by a few dedicated seekers. They are deeply involved in spiritual pursuits and other consciousness raising programs. What they discover is that there is no separation between self, environment and others. Life depends on having a heart, lungs, mind and other people.

They are all part of self. Life also calls for environmental parts such as food, air, water and warmth.  They are as important to self as the physical parts such as mind and heart. Life depends on others.  Other People provide all kinds of life sustaining assistance. They defend us, love us and feed us when we are not able to do these thing for ourselves.

So basically our environment and interdependence on others are all part of our whole self. If we neglect others care, we neglect self. When others get sick, self gets weaker. When others flourish, self flourishes. When technology and science advances, self advances. The goal is to make self parts come together as a whole. To do this is to serve all of self. This kind of service does not take effort.  It means taking care of your self. By accepting yourself exactly as you are and as you are not.

By accepting others exactly as they are and are not. This means not judging and criticizing others. By choosing to have your beloved be exactly as they are. By choosing the world to be exactly as it is. By not fighting reality because you really have little choice, if any at all. The world will stay as it is.

When you have taken control over Self, you will feel better. As Self gets control over the universe, Self has an unbelievable feeling of contentment. Self creates beliefs based on the minds realistic evaluations of the universe. Self can change them by conquering your old beliefs but your Mind will fight you even harder. The Mind may let you accept yourself but it has so much invested in its evaluation of other and the environment that it will resist change.

The Mind has hundreds of prejudices, expectations and conclusions against any attempt to change. In order to achieve inner contentment the Minds old belief system must be defeated. If your old belief system is not defeated, you will always have a feeling of discontent. Your environment will always need changing and other's will never live up to your expectations.

Caring for and serving your partners and other's in nonjudgmental way without any expectations or conclusions about them is one of our life goals. To be of service to our partners and others, Self must be educated, trained, matured and molded into a self sufficient, self satisfied whole person. That person has much to offer the world. They have love, compersion, compassion, understanding, expertise and objectivity. Self improvement begins with Self acceptance.

Accepting Self provides a foundation for self growth and development. Eventually Self will discover limitations to its growth and development that are being imposed by the environment and others. To maximize Self growth and development means to become a student of your environment and others and to develop strategies that serve and accept Self, our partners, others and the environment.

To this end service and acceptance is not a burden but a natural consequence of a maturing Self.  People reach out to their partners, others and the environment because they are as essential to a fulfilling life as a body or Mind. Self become synonymous with the Universe, what is valid for Self is valid for the Universe and vice versa. Then Self is responsible for the Universe. We are all one with the Universe.

Comments and Questions About the Self Improvement Program